The Anti-Soapbox: Collected Essays Read online

expectation: the first, turning driver expected me to stop and yield, while the second, beeping one expected me to follow through with my turn. Had they acted on actual reality rather than expectations, both accidents would’ve been avoided.

  Such is life: expecting a given outcome interferes with reacting to the actual outcome.

  As it were, I was not surprised by these near-accidents, nor by the angry beeping-at I received from avoiding a head-on collision, for modern society is centered around expectation. So deeply entrenched is this way of life and thought, expecting a specific flow of traffic is just for starters. From government policy, to business practices, to college loans taken out in anticipation of a lucrative career, to endless statistical predictions, right down to our day-to-day assumptions of what will or will not be—we are a people saturated in expectation. It is, for many of us, the axis of our lives, and so pervasive as to go unquestioned. As a result, our expectations tend to be reflected in our deepest psychology and, thus, our actions. When the weather forecast calls for a sunny day, many people will dress for sunny weather. When a popular doctor recommends a certain lifestyle, many people will conform. Printed money is expected to retain its value, so it’s exchanged for goods and services.

  Except, expectations don’t always pan out. Sometimes it rains despite the forecast, or the authoritative doctor is mistaken, or a currency collapses and becomes worthless. Thus we see the dangers of acting on expectations as if they are inevitable—such as when the driver behind me expected me to turn, then beeped angrily when I didn’t, despite my having a very good reason for stopping.

  Of course, no one wants to think of the worst-case scenario, or even the second-best; but then, that’s the heart of the problem. By planning and executing our lives based on expectations, we tend to adopt a mentality of aversion, in which, over time, one is apt to focus only on acceptable or desirable outcomes. Then, we are at risk of developing mental blind spots, perhaps until we forget there are any possible outcomes apart from out expectations. Once distanced from the many possibilities which constitute real life, we are prone to react with shock and outrage when faced with the unexpected, like when I was beeped at for avoiding a head-on collision. Sure, things might usually go as planned—the weather being as forecast, the doctor-approved lifestyle showing the expected benefit, the turning car completing its turn. However, usually is not always, and that fact must always be considered.

  Unfortunately, we as a society have largely lost sight of reality in this regard.

  Instead of remaining anchored in a broader, dynamic reality, great portions of the population have entered into the tunnel-visioned mentality described above, seeing only outcomes that are expected or routine (or desired). Worse, there are other factors that have distorted our thinking in this area. Agreement, for instance. It is common for large numbers of likeminded people to gather together and agree that, more or less, an expected outcome is the only outcome, regardless of the actual possibilities. These fallacious agreements, and many other, similar influences, create an illusion of validity and reality, even if they are entirely without merit. Furthermore, they go on to merge with the other consensuses circulating in the media and elsewhere, creating a snowball effect. Such agreements hold great power, and often find their way into the reasoning and decision-making of the population at large, as to filter into the very infrastructure of our world. And so, in the end, we are left with massive social and economic structures crafted almost entirely on our agreed-upon expectations—when, all the while, there remain other possibilities entirely, which do not respect our agreements. However many of us agree that the sun orbits the earth, it is just not so.

  Remember: it was widely agreed upon that the Titanic was unsinkable.

  What does this mean for the individual? That the ground under their feet is not quite as stable as they might’ve been led to believe. Presently, we live under a social standard that is founded more on expectation and agreement than substance, to a dangerous degree. I don’t say this to alarm or frighten, but only to inform. After generations of weaving expectation into the fabric of daily life, we have confused what is expected with what actually is. The real-world consequences of this thinking are all around us, as to be seen in our institutions and in common behavior. I have witnessed pedestrians walk in front of fast-moving cars, purely because the crosswalk sign is green. I have witnessed people assume loans they cannot possibly pay back, purely because the bank liked their credit score. I have witnessed accredited, respected people make statements which are blatantly false, purely because they have ignored certain possibilities in favor of their expectations. Additionally, I have witnessed this same behavior enacted on the large-scale, in matters of government, or world health, or child welfare, all with equal abandon (and without acknowledgement of the flawed thinking at play).

  The result: a textbook “house of cards” scenario, where one failed expectation can pull the rug out from the myriad others our society stands upon—the stuff of failed economies, burst market bubbles, and industrial disasters.

  You might ask, how can this be? How could so many intelligent people operate in such a shortsighted manner, blind to anything beyond the expected? The answer: it’s all psychology. Namely, that of perception.

  The study of perception and its role in the mind is an essay in itself (or, rather, a whole book, if not several). But, essentially, one’s perception can be considered the unique way they see the world—the “shoes” that are stepped into when we “walk a mile in another’s shoes.” Were we to switch between two people’s perceptions of themselves and the outside world, it would be akin to changing the channels on a TV: same device, totally different programming. Thus, perception lies at the core of one’s life experience, as to influence everything they think, do, and believe, without exception.

  As it relates to expectation, there are two important qualities of perception. First, our perceptions can vary widely, even those of the exact same object or experience. Consider eye-witness accounts of a crime, in which people recall key details differently, sometimes to the point of changing the entire account. Second, perception is, for the most part, arbitrary. That is, an individual’s perception of something can be “plucked from thin air,” so to speak, based more on illogical elements such as feelings and interaction rather than concrete reality. If a person reminds you of a feared grade-school teacher, that person might be perceived as fearful, regardless of who they actually are. The same for a food: if it looks unappetizing in some way (say, being colored neon green), then some people might in fact perceive it as unappetizing and react accordingly, even if the food is really quite delicious. Perception is, in other words, largely an invention of the mind, rather than something truly, objectively real—real for you, maybe, but not for me.

  Yet, real or not, perception holds great power, for the simple fact that it is believed to be real. In this fashion, perception is the mind’s primary force, as to govern thoughts, feelings, and behavior. This understanding goes a long way in explaining how expectation-centered thinking has dominated our world. If perception is the mind’s glue, and a perception requires nothing real or substantial to be formed, then what happens when expectation is added to the mix? The answer: it becomes possible for us to confuse the expected with the actual, due to low-level perceptual distortions changing how we see ourselves and the world.

  Consider also the power of expectation, which weighs so heavily on one’s thinking because it weighs so heavily on perception, that central hub of the mind and its deepest workings. Specifically, when operating under an expectant mentality, one’s perception is narrowed, so that the expected reality and its outcomes are, potentially, focused upon to the point of simply overshadowing other possibilities at all—that mental tunnel-vision described earlier, which can affect us right down to our moment-to-moment perceptions and experiences. Then, only the expected is seen—almost literally, so that a truly unexpected outcome might not at first register in the mind, as to not exist. Think
of times you’ve had to do a double-take: before that second look, did you really see anything at all?

  The consequences of such tunnel-vision-type thinking are grave, and many. After months, years, or a lifetime of this blindered state, it is not uncommon for one to forget that there is any other way to be. Then, the expected really is all that can exist—to that person, at least, in their inner reality and subjective perceptions. Such a condition can be highly dangerous to oneself and others, for unexpected reality continues to exist regardless of our awareness or consent—such as when I was cut off at that intersection. Had I too been acting upon expectations, I would’ve run right into the illegally turning driver (because, after all, they couldn’t have been turning in front of me ...).

  Deny the hurricane all you want. It will blow you down, all the same.

  In short, a lifestyle of expectation can lead to bad mental hygiene, where one sees what they expect rather than what actually is. The ill effects of such thinking are limitless, with a fender-bender from an unforeseen stop only the tip of the iceberg. Mental and physical injury,